What does “feeling happy” mean? I believe it means feeling at peace, satisfied, content, hopeful, joyful, relieved, positive, good…
It’s the absence of wanting, worry, anxiety, depression, frustration, stress, tension…
When you feel happy you have more energy, you vibrate positively and allow more well-being to come to you. I also believe there are some practical things you can do which will help you to feel happier. This is what this post is about.
We often think that we will feel better / happy when…
We often think that we will feel better / happy when we get to a certain point or when we get something we want –
when I have more money then…
when I lose weight then….
when my business picks up then….
when I get a new job then…..
when I have more time then….
when I meet the man / woman of my dreams then….
This is illusory madness which you can easily prove to yourself simply by considering your past behavior.
Most of us want what we want because we believe that in the having of it we will feel better / happy, but this is not possible.
Think back to a time when you wanted something because you believed it would ‘make’ you feel happy. It might have for a short time, but if you’re honest it would not have been long before you were looking to the next thing to make you feel happy again.
The reason for this is that happiness is a state of being which cannot be permanently realised by attaining something in the future. Happiness comes from choosing to feel happy NOW.
Feeling happy must come…
The truth is, feeling happy must come from within.
“You will feel happy when you consciously and consistently choose to feel better than you do without needing to get or have anything else first.” MARCUS BAKER
I believe you won’t ever be satisfied with whatever you desire externally because the truth is that you are here on this planet to expand. Wanting things is part of this process and will be never ending.
This is why we are always setting new goals to achieve more; so that we can expand personally and expand universal consciousness.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting things however believing that by having more or less of something will make you happy period is totally flawed and an impossibility.
The Happiest Man in the World
Maybe we can learn some more about how to feel happy from the man who was recently labelled as the happiest person in the world by popular media.
- Matthieu Ricard
Mattieu Ricard is a 65 year old Frenchman, a Buddhist monk and an ex academic, who now lives in Nepal.
He was a volunteer subject in a study performed at the University of Wisconsin–Madison on happiness. Results show that he scored significantly beyond the average obtained after testing hundreds of other volunteers.
Ricard went on to co-author a study on the brains of long-term meditators, including himself, in which he detailed the benefits of developing what he called the ‘habits of happiness’.
He concluded that to feel happy is simply a matter of training our minds in the right way.
I firmly believe this myself having experienced significant changes to my own happiness after spending the last ten years implementing a daily regime of mind training activities, so I was particularly interested in the following statistics.
To Feel Happy Depends on Three Areas
According to recent research, happiness is -
50% genetic
40% how we spend our day, and
10% life circumstances
I have to admit I had never considered that to feel happy would have anything to do with my genes so I was intrigued to know whether this statistic can be influenced in any way.
Can you Influence Your Gene Statistic to Feel Happy?
Research talks about a set point and a set range so there is no reason why you can’t push yourself to the top end of your range. It has also been shown that regular meditators are most likely to be at the top of their set range.
The good news however is that 40 % has to do with how you view your life which is affected by the activities you attend to regularly.
Why do you Want to Feel Happy?
Unless you get some kind of macabre kick from suffering, we all want to feel happy.
There are many names for the emotions we feel but actually there are only two types you need to be able to identify – feeling good and not feeling good.
All you want to do is make sure that for most of the time you are feeling good!
When we’re happy, we feel good as opposed to fearful, depressed, overwhelmed and the like.
We feel invincible, unstoppable, full of positive expectation and we’re hopeful about our future.
We feel light and relieved from stress and anxiety.
More importantly, when we feel happy by training our minds deliberately we also give up the futile belief that we will feel happy by getting something that we don’t yet have.
Being happy is what unleashes our energy vibration so that we are better able to allow the law of attraction to work in our lives.
Consequently you become naturally more productive and successful when you deliberately position yourself to feel happy.
Start Working on Your 40% Using These Three Tips to Feel Happy
Tip #1 – To feel happy, commit random and intentional acts of kindness
Some off-line ideas might be to pay somebody’s parking meter, donate blood or let somebody into the traffic.
On-line you might offer to help someone with something you know will improve their blog but which they might not know about, give somebody your Ebook for free or give your affiliate commission back to someone who buys a product using your link.
It has been proved over and over again that when we give to others without expecting anything in return we feel significant and happier as a result of our contribution.
See if in the week ahead you can commit to one random or intentional act of kindness everyday.
Tip #2 – To feel happy, focus on the positive
We are born with what is called a negativity bias. This means our brains scan for what can go wrong.
It’s not actually a bad thing since it’s a survival mechanism but over time we have become so unfocused that we are unable to discern when using this is useful and when it could be detrimental to our well-being.
It is possible to re-ignite our innate focusing ability but at first it does mean we will have to work extra hard, growing a positive bias.
Learn to see what’s right about about every situation and affirm what you DO WANT, as opposed to what you don’t want.
When you catch yourself thinking or saying what you don’t like or want, stop immediately and ask yourself, “Well what do I want?”
Remember WWW – What’s working well? Train yourself to look for the positive every day, all day.
It takes a little practice but the more you do it, the better your awareness will become and before you know it you’ll be doing it naturally.
Years ago I used to allow the weather to affect my state of mind. If it was anything other than sunny and warm I would somehow allow this to impact on my happiness.
Of course this is totally ridiculous as we can’t control the weather and I knew this on an intellectual level but that did nothing to help the problem.
So I trained myself out of this habit. Every morning when I got up I trained myself to look out the window and say out loud,
“It’s a beautiful (sunny, rainy, cold, windy, snowy, dull etc) day which means…. ”
I would always find something positive to add to my sentence. If it was raining I’d say something like,
“It’s a beautiful rainy day which means all the plants are being watered so I won’t have to water the garden which will save me time.”
I no longer do this but that’s because the weather no longer has any control over my emotional state.
One thing I learned the hard way is that you don’t train you mind by reading about it, thinking about it or wishing it will happen. You have to do it. It’s like a muscle that needs training and you have to do it every day until it becomes a habit.
In the week ahead see if you can become aware of how often you are focused on what’s wrong or missing in your life, then commit to putting a plan in place to change your non serving habit every day.
Tip #3 – To feel happy, let go of grudges
Forgiveness can be tricky, however the grudges to be released here are the ones that have passed their use-by date.
You will need to think deeply about these as we are conditioned to pack them away safely where they can’t bother us on a conscious level. Unfortunately they do the damage unconsciously, regardless.
Holding on to grudges often leads to an unconscious build up of the emotions of anger and resentment. These are very counter productive to our happiness.
The benefits of forgiveness are not so much for the other person but because YOU let go of these burdensome emotions yourself.
A number of research projects have been undertaken in recent years and all showed how forgiveness impacted significantly on happiness and well-being
I suggest you do what I do, take time everyday to think of one person you can can forgive for something. How you do this is up to you. You might just say a prayer or call them and express your forgiveness if you can.
Since it’s not really about them but you, it’s also a great idea to write them a letter in which you express this.
Don’t send the letter unless this is your intention. It is important to conclude the activity however, either by burning it or throwing it away. This signifies that it is over.
Oh and just because you think you have forgiven someone don’t be surprised if you still have more forgiving to do. That’s fine, it’s your continued intention that will get you there in the end.
I also forgive myself each night before I go to sleep for being hard on myself in any way during the day.
When you accept that feeling happy can be impacted by what you do and think right now then it means you don’t have to wait for anything to feel happy. The choice is yours.
What makes you happy? Do you have any other tips to pass on from your own experience?
Be Happy!
Post Image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mat_in_Tibet-D4784s.jpg
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Marcus,
I love what you said in the article about letting go of grudges. This is so important when it comes to moving forward in life. I think most people put way to much energy into being mad and upset at others when that energy could be pointed in a totally different and positive direction.
You are right now with your message friend!
Mark Harbert
Mark Harbert recently posted..Use This Free Google Tool To Optimize Your WordPress Blog
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 18th, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Hey Mark,
Great to see you here and thanks so much for taking the time to comment too.
I agree with you, too often people allow other people to run their lives via feeling resentment and anger towards them.
Once when I was having an argument with someone, a friend of mine said to me, “Would you rather be happy or right?” Right then and there I stopped my madness and I have never forgotten that question. I still use it often.
Have a great day!
~Marcus
[Reply]
It really depends on us that how can we make our self feel happy, because if we limit our desires we will be happy with what we’ve.
so all we need is to understand us and nothing more I guess.
Usman recently posted..How to Drive Maximum visitors from your Article
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 18th, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Hi Usman,
Great point you make about us needing to understand ourselves and I agree that when we do then we can take responsibility for our own happiness.
Thank you for adding to the discussion here.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Usman Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 2:14 am
Yes Marcus its just true which I feel, because that actually depends on us.
Thanks
Usman recently posted..How to Drive Maximum visitors from your Article
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 7:49 am
Hi Usman,
You are right we can do a lot to improve our own happiness.
Thanks for leaving a comment.
~Marcus
john Reply:
June 9th, 2011 at 10:00 am
I also was thinking that way till I read this article and found out that happiness is 50% genetic. And I analyze my friends a little bit and their parents – it seems to be the truth. But there is always the way for improvement – if you don’t feel happy there are rules to follow which will bring some love and happiness into your life.
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
June 9th, 2011 at 9:43 pm
Hi John,
Welcome to my blog. The good thing is that even if we empower that which we can we will feel happier and we will notice the difference too.
Thanks for leaving a comment.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Thoughtful post Marcus. I love tip #1. Doing an intentional act of kindness will make you happy and also appreciate life and people which is very important. Appreciating people will make life a lot meaningful and worth living.
Everyday, life throws at us what we want. If it’s happines, it doesn’t have a choice. It’s sadness, life will gladly give it out. CHOICE HAPPINESS!
Tim
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 18th, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Hi Tim,
I like how you highlighted that appreciating others makes our lives more meaningful. Perfect! I believe that’s what we are all after.
Be Happy!
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
I love the suggestions in #1 above. When we make others happy we can’t keep from being happy ourselves.
I think you will appreciate this:
http://www.roadtohappinessmovie.com/
Have an awesome week!
Ilka
Ilka Flood recently posted..Sorry- Wrong Number – Life’s Interesting Ways to Connect People
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 18th, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Hi Ilka,
Thank you for your comment. I am starting to think you are the go to person for knowing if there is a Simple Truths video out there on a topic! Awesome thank you for adding thid here Ilka.
Have a wonderful week!
~Marcus
[Reply]
Ilka Flood Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 4:22 pm
I just simply love those little videos. Watch them all the time because they are so uplifting and inspiring
Have a blessed day!
Ilka
Ilka Flood recently posted..What Is a QR Code and Why the Heck Should I care
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Hi Ilka,
I totally agree, they are incredibly uplifting and I am very appreciative of you sharing them with me too.
~Marcus
Wow! Very powerful post, Marcus!! Now, I’m not sure I have the (fill-in-the-blank) to devote ten years to training my mind, but I can try some of those suggestions you made immediately to feel happier.
I particularly like the idea of focusing on what’s right or what’s working well.
Jeanine Byers Hoag recently posted..How to Survive! Planning a 30-Day Wardrobe Challenge- Part Three
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 18th, 2011 at 8:36 pm
Hi Jeanine,
Yes I know what you mean… sometimes I get exhausted just thinking about my mind training journey! LOL
I’m delighted that you see a use for some of my tips though. Thank you.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Marcus, aloha. As I am sure you knew I would, I absolutely love, love, love this post. It’s fantastic! It resonates to the very core of my being.
Other than a slight disagreement with you on the fact that I know for a fact that a decrease in my waistline would make me very happy, we are in sync on everything else.
Your post is the first time I have heard of the research on happiness with those statistics. We are in complete control of 50% since our day is determined by our choices and our reactions to life circumstances.
Off to commit an intentional act of kindness by sharing this post far and wide.
Thx so much, Marcus. Reading this post made a great day even better. Aloha. Janet
On the 50% that is genetic, if we were born with “bad genes,” then we need to do as you suggest and push ourselves to the top. We are 100% responsible for our lives, our happiness.
While reading your post, I took a brief break to learn about Matthieu Ricard. What an amazing individual. Can’t wait to explore his site some more as well as the altruism forum. Some of my friends are going to be so excited to learn about this.
Happily, Marcus, I already follow your 3 tips that are essentials on this journey to happiness.
Janet recently posted..What do Astronauts & New Habits Have in Common By Janet Callaway The Natural Networker
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 18th, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Aloha Janet,
No surprises that you already follow my three tips Janet. You exude happiness in everything you are and create!
Now about that waistline…. hmmmmm yes well there is no arguing the point that when we feel more comfortable physically then we do feel better and happier as a result, but obviously decreasing your waistline can never account for the sum total of your happiness. You can and do still feel happy with a waistline that needs decreasing.
I guess what we’re aiming for is to create within us a state of happiness and contentment that is independent of any external need, then the decrease in waist line is simply a bonus when it happens and when it increases, a minor dent. What do you think?
Whether the research results on something like happiness are accurate or not does not really matter. What is important is that we can do something, even if only 50% to improve how we feel and that is enough to make a difference.
I know this from experience as no doubt you will too Janet.
I knew nothing of Matthieu Ricard till recently and he certainly is an interesting man and worth knowing more about.
Thank you for your lovely comments and for your kindness in sharing this post. I appreciate it hugely.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Awesome tips Marcus! Happiness is a decision, and the happiest people I know are excellent decision makers. When you can feel happy independent of whatever happens on the outside, you’ve found the key to happiness. Just keep choosing happiness when the person screams at you, when you feel that somebody let you down, or whatever situation arises. An immense power comes to your aid, and I’ve experienced this myself as I’ve let go more and more situations and people, and simply chose to be happy wherever I’m at. Thanks for sharing!
RB
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[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 18th, 2011 at 8:02 pm
Hi Ryan,
Thanks for adding your own personal insights here Ryan.
You are right it is conscious decision that we have to take and renew every day and all day.
Life becomes so more pleasurable when you just stop to tune in with how you are really feeling.
If it’s anything but happy, then we can change it. Awesome!
~Marcus
[Reply]
I absolutely loved this Marcus. Being happy for no reason (a good book I’ve read about being happy) is the only way to be.
Although, we know it’s not entirely easy so I definitely appreciate the steps. I’m sure others who strive for that “happiness” factor will certainly appreciate it too.
Great job buddy!
Talk to you later,
Jerome
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[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 8:39 am
Hi Jerome,
Thank you for your positive feedback here.
I agree nothing beats being happy just for the sake of it and when you know how to manage this you never need anything but your focus to make you happy again.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Well this post is certainly full of all kinds of interesting information and research.
Hummm…………..
I seem to be sticking on the genetics discussion, since I can’t help but call myself “happy” and yet I know, that I don’t come from “happy” genes.
Something to think about for sure…
What is it, that makes me different? Or, what is it, that I had added to my routine, tha makes it possible for me to see the world differently than generations before me.
These are certainly journaling questions for me to explore.
Thank you for that.
Wishing you well-
Nanette
Nanette recently posted..Expressing Gratitude- The Lost Practice of Writing Thank You Notes…
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 8:37 am
Hi Nanette,
Well I am pleased my post provided you with some journalling questions to ponder.
Maybe you have simply got the other 50% working well when it comes to feeling happy?
I am not too sure what I think about the genetics statistic but I do know that I have trained my mind to be happier so I know it’s possible to make a difference even if that statistic is accurate.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here Nanette.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus!
You got me curious about the genetic aspect to happiness. Could our genes really have a hand at it?
Anyway, just to add to your list of things that could make us happy, what I do is think of the reasons why life is worth living for. And when I do this, I think of my wife and my children and everything else is just supplementary to it. Then, I end up with a smile and happiness just radiates from my whole being.
Elmar Sandyck recently posted..Good Etiquette in the Digital Era
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 7:58 am
Hi Elmar,
Yes a good question and as I have relayed in some of my other replies I have no idea how definitive that research is.
The best research I follow is that which I have carried out on my own.
What I know without a doubt is that we can train ourselves to be happier and that’s all I do.
What you do to feel happy is perfect Elmar. It’s actually quite easy to change our focus.
Thanks for adding your perspective here.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus! Thanks for that awesome article! This one’s exactly for me! I know that I’m a very jolly person but I have this feeling of emptiness sometimes which causes me to be unhappy. But fight it by playing with my youngest sister. Although we have a 14-year age gap, I really enjoy it when we are together, talking about everything she wants to know and stuff.
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[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 11:30 pm
Hi Charlene,
Welcome to my blog.
I think it’s a great idea when we don’t feel that great to do something that makes us feel better again. So playing with your sister is a good strategy Charlene.
The more we can be in tune with how we are feeling and change the feeling to a better feeling place if we don’t feel happy, the faster we can feel happier generally. Once again it’s all about shifting our focus.
Thanks for sharing your experience here.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
oh yes, the never-ending pursuit of happiness, interesting insights, thanks for sharing. Chances are things and material stuff, especially money, tend to reveal who and what we truly are. Even though money is not necessarily material, it will make a happy person happier and an unhappy person unhappier. The same holds true for material possessions money can buy: We can buy a fancy house to be afraid of burglars or to enjoy life more and even building a room for meditating retreat – and be more happy.
What do you think ?
Take care
Oliver
Oliver Tausend recently posted..The Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar – Undo The Brainwashing To Poverty Pt 2
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Hi Oliver,
Yes I think money does often reveal who we are.
I also think the confusion comes down to semantics with something like happiness.
Is happiness a temporary or more permanent state of being?
If it’s viewed as something fleeting, then the acquisition of whatever we desire will make us happy, but of course it will have no longevity so then we will have to find more to acquire to make us happy for a moment again. This will be never ending.
If we can find a way to feel happy regardless then that happiness will never be dependent on whether we have something or not.
Of course wanting more money because it can make our lives more comfortable and reduce stress is totally valid and while this may contribute to us feeling better, I don’t believe it’s necessary for us to feel happy.
I believe happiness comes from tuning into our source and knowing and trusting implicitly that we are taken care of no matter what happens.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Thank you for an article that can be timely for any day of the year. I agree with all of your points, but especially love the random acts of kindness. I think the key there is not expecting anything in return. This is something I try to put into practice on a regular basis, but you have challenged me to focusing on something every day.
There is something exhilarating about random acts of kindness – even when there is some mystery involved. When my son was young, we would put together special May Day Baskets for his teachers, thanking them for all their work. We would leave them for them and run away very quickly. I don’t know if they ever knew who they were from, but it certainly is a memory we always carry with us and hope it was an encouragement to them.
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[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 11:04 pm
Hi Dee,
What I like about making this a daily habit is that eventually it just becomes part and parcel of who you are, otherwise we read these things, think it is a good idea but hardly ever do it, not because we don’t want to, but because we get distracted.
I love how you shared your story about leaving May Day Baskets for your son’s teachers.
Thank you.
I agree with you there is something totally exhilarating when one can offer these anonymously as then it ensures that we don’t expect anything in return, from the recipient anyway.
Thank you for adding your thoughts here Dee.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
Your tips are looking nice and I will try to follow your instructions to get more happiness in my life.
Thanks for such a nice post
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[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Hi Nazim,
Thank you for your feedback.
It is definitely possible to improve how we feel and it so much better to feel more happy than not.
Take care,
Marcus
[Reply]
Hey Marcus,
You have taught me something new here, it’s your research on the percentage of were your happiness comes from; 50% genetic,40% how we spend our day, and 10% life circumstances. Wow…that is so interesting, I had a feeling our genetics had something to do with it because depression is proven genetically inherited .
~Tisha
Tisha recently posted..Six Degrees of Separation-Life Links To Success
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Hi Tisha,
I have to say I was really surprised to read these statistics too but as you say if depression can be hereditary then so must happiness be too.
What is important to remember is if this is true you still have another 50% you can work on.
I would hate to think unhappy people resign themselves to the fact that they are unhappy because of genetics and then consequently do nothing about helping themselves.
Thanks for your support Tisha.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Marcus,
I really enjoyed the article, particularly the part about the weather because that’s something I have a problem with. If the day is cloudy or overcast, so is my mood and I just feel like staying in bed all day. Definitely something I’m going to work on changing. Of course, the weather here today is amazing, so I can’t complain too much yet.
Pete Dimas recently posted..You only have 2 weeks to get positioned AT THE TOP in WowWe
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Hi Pete,
Welcome to my blog.
I know exactly how you feel Pete. I lived for a few years in the UK and winter was a real battle for me.
What I discovered is that it is all a matter of focus. If you can train yourself to focus on more things that are pleasing to you other than the weather then it will naturally pale into insignificance but it doe take time and practice.
But while you have awesome weather…. just rejoice!
~Marcus
[Reply]
Pete Dimas Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 11:18 am
Marcus,
I’m practicing today, cause the weather turned to some kind of nonsense. Yesterday warm and sunny, today cold and overcast. Friggin’ Oklahoma, man. lol
Pete
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Excellent! One thing you can be sure about is you have no control over the weather, only how you respond to it.
Be thankful for the practice. Soon you won’t need it!
~Marcus
Hi Marcus, I was glued to this post and was very intrigued that happiness is 50% genetics. Let me be honest and share that the first thing that popped into my mind was “Ok, so when I am not happy, it’s really not my fault hahaha – good to know! However, the 40% is in our control so it’s up to us to create our own happiness. No more excuses
You are right on to say our happiness is too much dependent on having. I have often heard people say, if I were as rich as him I would be happy too. It’s never greener on the other side and if you want, you can change your state of mind and me happy right now. Also, as you have mentioned, it starts with awareness and then your willingness to make that shift in your mindset.
Great read!
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[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Hi Diana,
We so easily want not to take responsibility not so Diana? LOL
To be honest, who knows whether the research is correct or not, but what I do know from personal experience is that we can do enough to change how we feel and that is good enough for me.
I think we all sometimes feel that we would be happier if we had XYZ but to me happiness is a constant stream of contentment, so while getting something does often make me feel better temporarily, it never lasts so it can’t be happiness in my opinion.
Thanks for your positive feedback and support Diana.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Marcus,
I got the same lesson as you years ago. Things don’t make us happy. Being happy just is because nothing outside of you is needed to be happy.
Meditation is a key component to maintaining happiness.
Justin | Mazzastick recently posted..Solve Your Problems Using Creativity
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 19th, 2011 at 9:59 pm
Hi Justin,
I agree with you. My life changed completely as a result of meditation.
Thanks for sharing your insights.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
This is such a wonderful post and certainly needed for every person running a business. Staying happy increases creativity and productivity which are always very essential for out personal and business success.
It is really sad that 50% of the trait is from the genes, because we are not choosing it and we can’t do anything about it. The other 40% is the good news.
Thanks for the heads up.
Cheers,
Jane.
Jane recently posted..How Blogging Contests Nurture the Blogosphere
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 7:26 am
Hi Jane,
I agree with you on your research thoughts however I never take too much notice of what Science says to be honest.
What I know is that I can make a noticeable difference to my happiness when I train my mind daily so I just focus on that.
It seems that’s all any of us can do.
I appreciate your comment!
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
I learn something new today. I love visiting a blog and learning something new.
I’m amazed that 40% is what we do. So we have total control of that 40%. That is why I like to go and work out and at the same time reflect on positive things. When I’m done with my workout. I’m feeling like I’m unstoppable!
Have a great day…
Josh
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[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Hey Josh,
Yep just when we think we know it all yeah?? Happens to me all the time. LOL
We have the potential to make a huge difference to our happiness as you have already discovered.
I appreciate your input here Josh.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
What a great topic! Interesting study results… It makes me think of the book I’m currently in the middle of “Change Your Brain Change Your Life”. I wonder if that 50% is more than genetic. If it has more to do with the physical state of our brains.
I think you would really enjoy that book, and I HIGHLY recommend it. I’ve listened to Dr. Amen’s presentations, interviews, and own a few of his books. It’s truly fascinating.
I love your 3rd point, holding grudges is so damaging. Much more on ourselves than the person we’re holding against!
Thank you for the wonderful insights on this important topic.
Susanna
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Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Hi Susanna,
Yes that does sound like a book I would enjoy. Thanks for recommending it Susanna. I’ll add it to my ever goring list of resources to buy. Think I’m going to run out of time in this lifetime at he rate I’m going. LOL
I appreciate your comment Susanna. Thank you.
~Marcus
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LOVED this Marcus – I just wish they would teach this sort of stuff at school, I am sure the world would be a much happier place.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Hi Nicky,
Too right! I think the whole emphasis at school needs a total shift.
Thanks for adding to the discussion here.
~Marcus
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Hi Marcus,
I’m happy tonight! Forgiving others snags a few people that I know; the grudges rot them from the inside out.
The statistics you shared are very intriguing. I figured genetics had something to do with it only in extremes but I didn’t think it was at 50% impact. Wow.
What helped me be a happier person was meditation. But not in a traditional sense (I don’t think). I used to have a hard time falling asleep no matter how tired I was. My mind would race, thoughts flashing uncontrollably. Well, I’d focus on clearing my mind and concentrate on thinking about NOTHING.
Each time a thought would enter my mind I’d picture a blank white wall. Why not black? Because every time I pictured black, some thought would overlay it. For some reason I had issues controlling it. White it was.
Anyway, I transferred that same thought filtering/control into my waking hours. Instead of focusing on grumpy thoughts or negativity I’d push those thoughts away and replace them with positive ones.
Thanks for the great read!
Jon
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Marcus Baker Reply:
April 23rd, 2011 at 6:30 am
Hey John,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.
I read your meditation experience with much interest. I am always fascinated to hear about these because they are as varied as people can be.
I have to agree regular meditation changes everything for most people and did for me too. I sit for an hour in the morning and evening and doing so really frames my day and night, almost like pre-paving my time ahead.
It sounds as if you have mastered managing your focus ability Jon which as you rightly point out is the key to being happy when ever we choose.
~Marcus
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Spot on here. Letting go of grudges, looking for the positive, and SMILING really helps me. When I’m not smiling, if I force myself to find something to smile about – it does wonders to make that day happy for me.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
April 23rd, 2011 at 9:03 pm
Hi Christian,
Amazing how effective smiling is.I am pleased you raised this.
I sometimes take a walk and just make my goal to smile at everybody I pass.
By the time I am done I always feel fantastic regardless of the fact that so many tried so hard not to smile back. Ha ha
Great to have you visit and leave a comment. Thank you.
~Marcus
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Excellent post, Marcus. Its true that ‘human wants are unlimited’ we want one thing after another and it makes us ponder whether it is greed or something else not so intense?
Mattieu Ricard is right, how we train our minds is very important. The happiest people in life I guess, are those who’ve learned to strike the right balance with their lifestyle.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
April 26th, 2011 at 8:32 am
Hi Darin,
Good point about ‘striking a balance’ that you raise. This is not something that comes naturally to me I must admit, I have to work on it but anything is possible when it’s important enough to us.
Thanks for adding to the discussion Darin.
~Marcus
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Thanks. Now, I can try to get happy despite the condition.
Btw, I think the most important keys is acceptance. We will happy if we can accept (without rebellion) anything on our life.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
May 2nd, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Hi Dana,
I agree that accepting whatever comes our way as being neither ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and rather perfect for us at that time is exactly the key to happiness.
Thank you for contributing this important piece of information here.
~Marcus
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I totally agree here, Marcus. These are great ways to maintain a happy lifestyle – I think we could all afford to live our lives a little more like that Matthieu up there!
Natasha
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 8th, 2011 at 10:35 pm
Hi Natasha,
Thanks Natasha. There is always room for improvement not s?
~Marcus
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This is an awe inspiring post and it sure does make me feel happier. The power of positive thinking shouldn’t be underestimated. Sometimes, people focus too much on the bad side when there are more things to look forward to on the brighter side. We just need to let go of the negatives and just deal with the things that can give us happiness. Afterall, happiness is still a choice. Thanks for sharing this insight.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 7th, 2011 at 7:21 am
Hi Jane,
Welcome and thanks for adding to the discussion here.
Pleased you found the post inspiring. It is always a matter of focus and we can can choose and control this when we consciously do so.
Be happy!
~Marcus
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One think that makes me happy is acceptance.
I cannot change the past, so I realize that I have to accept it and move on.
For example, If I get a bad grade I say
1. I got a bad grade
2. This bad grade happened in the past; I cannot change it
3. Since I cannot change it, I might as well accept it. It will not do me good to be sad from it. In an emotionally-detached manner I have to learn from it, and move on.
We have the power to move on, to leave thoughts. The thoughts are not the ones prisoning us. We are the ones hugging the thoughts. We can let them go.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 12:56 am
Hi Megha,
You encapsulated the process perfectly in your comment. Thank you.
I love how you said, “The thoughts are not the ones prisoning us. We are the ones hugging the thoughts. We can let them go.” Too right!
~Marcus
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Thanks, I needed this. It can be so difficult to look at the future with optimism at times.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
December 6th, 2011 at 4:21 am
Hi Mike,
You are welcome.I am pleased the post made a difference. Sometimes the smallest of things can.
~Marcus
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Hi Marcus,
Its an eye opening fact for me that our happiness depends on 50% genetic, 40% how we spend our day, and 10% life circumstances which is interesting because I thought it only depends on circumstances.
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