I was sharing some MLM Tips with someone about prospecting this week when she said, “If I’m hearing you correctly, what you’re saying is that I have to get good at asking; asking about the person and their needs and ultimately asking for the sale if it’s appropriate?”
“Bingo that’s exactly what it’s all about.” I said.
We all know what asking is about technically and yet it’s often something we don’t do very well. I used to be really good at asking all about the person but I was not very good at asking for the sale but I learned to change this.
I thought I would write a post on the topic of asking in general, then I came across an awesome article on this topic, written by Jack Canfield, founder of the billion-dollar book brand, Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success.
This is one of those cases of not reinventing the wheel when you don’t have to, but just making it bigger. I intend to do so by sharing his article with you here.
Good Things Come to Those Who Ask – Jack Canfield
Asking for what you need is probably the most underutilized tool for people. And yet, amazing requests have been granted to people simply because they’ve asked for it!
Whether its money, information, support, assistance, or time, most people are afraid to ask for what they need in order to make their dreams come true.
They might be afraid of looking needy, ignorant, helpless, or even greedy. More than likely, though, it is the fear of rejection that is holding them back. Even though they are afraid to hear the word no, they’re already saying it to themselves by not asking!
Do you ask for what you want or are you afraid of rejection?
Consider this: Rejection is just a concept. There is really no such thing as rejection! You’re not any worse off by hearing no than you were before you asked. You didn’t have what you asked for before you asked and you still don’t, so what did you lose?
Being rejected doesn’t hold you back from anything. Only YOU hold yourself back. When you realize that there’s no merit to rejection, you’ll feel more comfortable asking for things. You may just need a bit of help learning how to ask for what you want.
How to Ask for What You Want
There’s a specific science to asking for and getting what you want or need in life. And while I recommend you learn more by studying The Aladdin Factor, here are some quick tips to get you started:
1. Ask as if you expect to get it. Ask with a positive expectation. Ask from the place that you have already been given it. It is a done deal. Ask as if you expect to get a “yes.”
2. Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get it. If you are going to assume, assume you can get an upgrade. Assume you can get a table by the window. Assume that you can return it without a sales slip. Assume that you can get a scholarship, that you can get a raise, that you can get tickets at this late date. Don’t ever assume against yourself.
3. Ask someone who can give it to you. Qualify the person. Who would I have to speak to get… Who is authorized to make a decision about… What would have to happen for me to get…
4. Be clear and specific. In my seminars, I often ask, “Who wants more money in their life?” I’ll pick someone who raised their hand and give them a quarter, asking, “Is that enough for you?” “No? Well, how would I know how much you want? How would anybody know?”
You need to ask for a specific number. Too many people are walking around wanting more of something, but not being specific enough to obtain it.
5. Ask repeatedly. One of the most important Success Principles is the commitment to not give up.
Whenever we’re asking others to participate in the fulfillment of our goals, some people are going to say “no.” They may have other priorities, commitments and reasons not to participate. It’s no reflection on you.
Just get used to the idea that there’s going to be a lot of rejection along the way to the brass ring. The key is to not give up. When someone says “No”— you say “NEXT!”
Why?
Because when you keep on asking, even the same person again and again…they might say “yes”…
…on a different day
…when they are in a better mood
…when you have new data to present
…after you’ve proven your commitment to them
…when circumstances have changed
…when you’ve learned how to close better
…when you’ve established better rapport
…when they trust you more
…when you have paid your dues
…when the economy is better
…and so on.
Kids know this Success Principle better than anyone. They will ask the same person over and over again without any hesitation. (can you relate?)
Getting a good perspective on rejection and learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goals. Practice asking and you’ll get very good at it! You’ll even speed your progress by getting what you need, or improving yourself in order to get it later.
Make a list of what you need to ask for in all areas of your life, and start asking.
Remember, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE… if you dare to ask!
How good are you at asking others for what you want? Do you have any further tips to add Jack Canfield’s list?
Have your say in the comments section and I’ll meet you there. Please also share this post using the social media share buttons on this blog. Thank you.
“You might get what you ask for without asking but you’ll increase your odds if you do. ” – Marcus Baker

Post photo: Deniz Ongar





Hey Marcus,
I’ve been self employed for several years and before that I was in sales. I have to say that most individual choke up when it’s time to ask for the sale. They work very hard telling people why they need the product and service by showing them how it’s going to benefit them. But never ask for the sale!
Rejection is part of life. You win some and you lose some. However, how will you know if you are going to win if you never ask. Study your ABC…LOL
Have an awesome weekend, buddy…
Josh
Josh Garcia recently posted..How To Increase Commenting On Your Blog
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 24th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
Hi there Josh,
Agree totally. A lot of it has to do with whether one believes one deserves to receive abundance from others. It is the sub conscious belief that needs changing because while most people will consciously say they feel they deserve to ‘get the sale’, their sub conscious belief is not supporting this and cancels it out.
Hope you are having an awesome weekend too Josh.
~Marcus
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Hello Marcus
When I think about this I am not afraid of someone saying “no” but I am still afraid to ask in certain circumstances.
Am I afraid to close, no. Am I afraid to ask for a raise, no.
But I am afraid to ask for a favour.
I will have to think hard on this to come up with a good reason.
Thanks for another good read Marcus.
Peter Fuller MBA CA recently posted..How has my business grown since I started my blog
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 24th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
Hi Peter,
There are always reasons why we struggle with asking for certain things, usually which relate to earlier experiences we have had.
The good part is you are aware of these Peter and that’s the first step towards changing our behaviors that don’t serve us.
~Marcus
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I’ll tell you this, Marcus. My mother always told me that I have to ask for what I need. And, I guess because I grew up with it, I took it for granted and didn’t realize the power it has until I read Good Things Come to Those Who Ask by Jack Canfield. Thanks for posting. I can see clearly now. Make it a great day!
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 24th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Hi Sue,
Awesome that you related to this article.
It is true everything we could ever need is already there, we just need to ask. It is such an empowering realization.
~Marcus
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Great post Marcus. It is such a simple concept but we often just forget about it, or worse think that we aren’t allowed to.
You are absolutly right in saying we are no worse off if someone says “no” to our request. The problem is that we take the rejection personally, when in reality it isn’t, and so it feels as if we are worse off than we were. The key to fixing that is not taking “no” personally!
Thanks for the great post!
Michael A. Novak recently posted..The Best Industry to Learn Leadership
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 24th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Hi Michael,
Thanks for your valuable comment. I agree with you, we must not give away our power to others. A “no” does not mean we are any less than we were, we just have more information.
~Marcus
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Marcus, You have hit the nail right on the head again (with a little help from Jack Canfield). I have been thinking about the same issue from a different perspective. Sometimes we aren’t afraid to ask, we just think it is the wrong thing to do because “it is better to give than to receive.” I just wrote a post on that topic, and would love to hear what you think. See, I asked
Thanks again for all the great and valuable content. Have a great week-end. Regards, Laurie
Laurie recently posted..Is it really better to give than to receive
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 24th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Hi Laurie,
Yes yes yes..
which is why when I saw the title of your current post I thought I must rush over and read this because it is very related. So am off there now..
Thanks Laurie and hope you are having an awesome weekend too.
~Marcus
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Hey Marcus. Another great read. This particular article has extreme importance to me because of how independent we were tught to be growing up. I know that this is one of my paradimes that I need to change inside myself in order to keep moving forward. Thanks again for your topical post.
Thomas Mccracken
Thomas recently posted..Freelife Mlm Business Review
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 25th, 2010 at 9:01 am
Nice to have you visit again Thomas! Most of us have residue from growing up that needs a good old clean out. Pleased you found it useful.
~Marcus
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Marcus,
This was great to think about. We all need to be more specific in our intent, our actions, our questions. I am not afraid of rejection, but I realize now that I am afraid to ask for what I want, need, or expect from the person I am in contact with. I don’t need a quarter! LOL Always making me think bro, Thank You.
David
David Porter recently posted..Decision Time- What Do You Choose
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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 25th, 2010 at 8:59 am
Hey David,
Yeah I will be very careful about what I ask for in future too. I’ll be making it specific and HUGE!
~Marcus
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What did I think of the article Sir Baker? Loved it!! As always!! Have been a huge fan right from the word go! Your information is always so uplifting and clear in focus. Inspiration hits an all-time high! Marcus makes my short list of all time favourite people on the Planet Earth! This guy is happy champ central! All hail the King of grin!
Dave.
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 25th, 2010 at 8:58 am
Dave my friend…
You always have such wonderful things to say about me. Do you want to be my shadow?? Ha ha.
Seriously though now that you are living in Sydney, let’s catch up for that beer soon.
Thanks for the visit and awesome comment.
~Marcus
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Hi Marcus,
This is one of the better self-help articles I’ve read in some time, thanks so much for sharing.
I sometimes fear to ask because I don’t expect good things to happen. I expect a “No” and the universe picks up on this.
When I feel confident the universe responds either with a “Yes” or with a valuable lesson I can use to receive “Yesses” in the future.
We only hurt ourselves by not asking.
Ryan Biddulph
Ryan Biddulph recently posted..13 Benefits of A Home Based Opportunity
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 25th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Hi Ryan,
Thanks for sharing your personal perspective here. I think not expecting a ‘yes’ is probably something many of us do without realizing so thanks for bringing this up.
~Marcus
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Hey Marcus,
I love this post! No matter how great someone is at speaking, presenting, sharing, talking… doesn’t matter if they can’t pop the question.
I’m with Peter, the hardest part of learning to ask for me, has been asking for favors. Todd Falcone is always talking about this though. Because I’ve heard him say it so much, I have started asking for answers and help/advice in area’s I’ve had questions in.
This has resulted in saved time and money, as well as developing closer working relationships with other networkers I respect and admire.
Great post!
Susanna
Susanna Hess recently posted..Watch Out! It Could Happen To You…
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 3:08 am
Hi Susanna,
Great to hear how this has impacted on you too and that taking positive action in this area has led to further benefits to yourself and your business. Thanks for sharing your valuable insight.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hey Marcus,
I never really had problems asking for the business, but my approach to it when I first started was horrible lol. I use to get straight to the point and ever try to build some type of rapport. What I do now is ask the right questions in order to get enough information to expose them to my business.
Questions like “what do you do for a living?” or “How long have you been working there” or “what do you like to do for fun when you’re not working” or simple but powerful questions. You find out so much about your prospects by asking simple questions like these. Their answers will determine whether to expose them to your business or sell of a product or services.
Great post Marcus!!
Sherman
Sherman Smith recently posted..To Become A True Leader- First Start With Becoming An…
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 3:02 am
Hi Sherman,
Thanks for taking the time to add more value here Sherman. You are right asking enough questions is also a valid point. Thanks for leaving your examples of questions too.
~Marcus
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Marcus,
Success Principles a wonderful book I really need to dust it off and read it.
But this article has done me a lot of good as usual. So much truth in the fact that if you ask and don’t get it your no worse off than before.
I’ll be honest with you I used to have a problem with this when I got to that point I would convince myself there is something better coming or I could do it myself.
As you can imagine a lot of disappointment. But when I finally got over that mental block and did start asking my life has improved 100%.
Because win or lose I have faced it and that is a success in itself.
Steve Shoemaker
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 8:22 am
Hi Steve,
I appreciate you sharing your personal story here. I think your last line, “Because win or lose I have faced it and that is a success in itself.” sums it up Steve. Well done!
~Marcus
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Good advice. I thnk we often don’t ask for what we want because others will think we’re greedy. What I’ve found is that it undermines relationships just as much to NOT ask for what you want as it would if you ask for too much.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Hi John,
Great point. I guess as with everything we are looking for that delicate balance. Thanks for leaving your comment.
~Marcus
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Hello Marcus…I really thank you for the tips you have here with us…I hope this can really help…
Thomas recently posted..italian chandeliers
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 7:27 am
Hi Thomas,
Welcome and thanks for leaving a comment. I hope that the tips are useful.
~Marcus
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