In Who are you and Where are you? I shared why I believe it’s important to be as VISIBLE as you can be when it comes to experiencing the power of connecting with others using social media marketing.
I suggested a couple of ideas about how you can do this and then I asked for your input. If you haven’t read this post yet, I highly recommend you do, especially the feedback in the comments section.
Now I’m going to do a complete about-turn and ask you to become INVISIBLE although for a very different reason. You’re still going to connect with others but the power you experience will be within.
You may have heard that you must ‘give to receive’. This is the law of circulation in action. All energy is continually being redistributed via circulation and you’re playing a role in this whether you do so deliberately or not, which is why as you give so you receive.
When I first came across this law a good few years ago now, I made it my mission to give wherever and whatever I could. It wasn’t long though before I was standing with my hands on my hips demanding to know why I was not receiving anything since I believed I had been more than generous.
This was my exact lesson to be learned: You can’t give and expect to receive. The law simply does not work like this. Firstly you have to be willing to give and secondly, give without condition. What you receive back then will come in ways you never expected and at times when you need it most.
How easy is it to give without expecting something back?
If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know that it’s not that easy. It’s not that you don’t have good intentions. You inner being and spirit knows that we are all one and that when you give to one you give to yourself too.
So where does the problem arise?
It’s all due to that other voice called ‘the ego, that unfortunately also likes to play a role.
The ego has to feel important and when it feels threatened with no recognition, it will do whatever it can to develop a story about feeling hurt and not loved which you will then re-tell over and over, even if only in your mind, until you believe it’s true.
This is nonsense however since you are always loved by God in whatever context you understand Spirit. While it may feel good, you do not NEED any other human being’s recognition.
The reason why it’s difficult to give without expecting anything back is because when we give, we do so as the identity called “me” which is essentially a projection of ego.
Take the example of when you do something for someone else and they don’t acknowledge you with at least a “thank you”. How does this make you feel; hurt, disappointed, angry perhaps even revengeful?
You don’t even have to feel any of these strong emotions however. Just noticing that they did not say thank you is enough of an indicator that you had some expectation that was not fulfilled. If you had truly given without any condition or expectation, then once you had given, you would not have returned to the act again.
Here’s another example: How often do you give and then knowingly or not, pull back unless it’s reciprocated?
Take commenting on blog posts for instance. Do you ever leave a comment and then ‘feel less’ when the blogger concerned does not respond or visit your blog and leave a comment in return?
Have you then used this as criteria for deciding whether you’ll comment on that person’s blog again? I have in the past although I am far more aware of this these days. Even if you tell yourself that you do this because you’re busy, you’re still giving energy to conditional giving.
As human beings, it’s not always easy for us to give without expectation even when we think we are.
The best way I know of to experience the difference and the joy in giving unconditionally, is by being an invisible or anonymous giver.
Do this and there is no logical way to have expectations of anyone.
There are people who do this all the time. I know someone who puts money in the parking meters of stranger’s cars when he sees the meter police coming so that the person does not get fined. Isn’t that fantastic?
The law does not think so. Apparently it’s illegal so he often finds himself in trouble.
I say that if such a law exists that it makes a sad statement about our society and while I am not one to encourage flouting the law, in this case I choose to go with what I believe is right.
Now I want to challenge you to become an invisible giver wherever and whenever you can in the week that lies ahead and to observe how it feels to do so.
I’m going to make this a focus myself this week. Then next week I’ll write a post and tell you about my experiences and invite you to leave a comment sharing yours too. Are you up for it?
What to do:
Look for as many opportunities in the week ahead to give to others anonymously.
Personally I ask the Universe to bring me opportunities and then I stay alert, seeing whether I can notice these. It’s a great exercise in being present and aware.
The person cannot know that you are responsible for the giving, so even if they suspect it’s you for some reason, you must remain anonymous.
You can give to someone you know as well as strangers as long as you’re invisible. I would encourage you to especially try giving to someone you dislike or don’t resonate with and see how this feels.
Some ideas:
- Put money in someone’s parking meter that’s expired and leave before they get back
- Pay for someone’s coffee etc without them knowing.
- Leave someone a card or a gift
- Do a task for someone that you notice needs doing, like weeding someone’s garden for instance.
Do you practice invisible giving? What can you add to my post?
Are you up for the challenge?
Do you have any more invisible giving ideas to add? I am especially interested if you can think of anything that would translate to the online world since it’s not that easy to be invisible online.
I look forward to reading your responses in the comments section. Please consider sharing this post with your followers in case they’d like to join in too. Thank you.
Be Happy!
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Love this post, Marcus. So often, people do “nice” things for others with ulterior motives. Like, ‘If I do this for them, maybe they will do something for me’ – that kind of mentality. Taking your identity out of the giving equation but still doing good deeds is a great way to be TRULY benevolent toward another person and I think it’s something we can all strive to do.
~Natasha
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 8th, 2011 at 8:59 pm
Hi Natasha,
Half the time we don’t even realize we have ulterior motives Natasha. I think it’s really important not to fool ourselves. As I said in my post we often have good intentions but then our ego gets in the way.
Appreciate your comment here!
~Marcusd
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Marcus, aloha. Surprise! Surprise! Or is it? Marcus, I absolutely love this post. Yes! I’m for it; I’m in; you can count on me.
For years I have been an invisible giver and it is so much fun. Let me tell you one thing that I do that is easy to incorporate.
What I do is leave money in a rest room or some public place where it can be easily found. It doesn’t matter whether it is $1, $5, $10 or $20; it’s the thought that counts.
When money comes to us in unexpected ways, we are delighted. So that people won’t feel “guilt” about the money & think someone lost it, I put a little note on it that says: “Here is a gift for you. It is yours to do with as you choose–keep it, spend it or share. May it brighten your day. Enjoy.”
Sometimes I lurk in the area to watch the reaction and have always been delighted with what I see. Other times I just leave it and go on my merry way. It is so much to imagine the possibilities that can happen with that money.
Oftentimes I have paid for someone’s coffee, something ordered in a restaurant or even helped with groceries. In some instances I was invisible, in others not. It always fun and I always feel good after doing so.
In terms of the online world, I will have to think a bit. The only thing that readily comes to mind is doing more social sharing for people. While I tweet & fb post, I don’t that often Stumble, Digg, etc. For the most part, those are anonymous actions.
Good question, Marcus, will have to check back to see what your other reads think of because I love the idea. Should I think of something else, I will be sure to come back to share it.
How fantastic this is. Thx so much, Marcus. Enjoy the glorious week ahead of you. Until next time, aloha. Janet
Janet recently posted..Life—Is it Puzzling or a Puzzle? By Janet Callaway The Natural Networker
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 4:33 am
Janet aloha. No surprises my friend. I knew you would be all for this…
As I wrote this post I was wondering how many and who of my closest online friends might already be invisible givers and I felt sure you would be.
I love, love, love the leaving money with a note idea. How fantastic. I have never done this Janet but guess what I’ll be doing tomorrow at some point. Can’t wait…
I am really looking forward to other people’s ideas, especially the online ones Janet and I’ll definitely be highlighting the best ones in my follow up post too.
Thank you for being willing to participate Janet. The world is a better place for our giving without needing to be thanked.
Wishing you your best week ever!
~Marcus
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Janet Reply:
August 14th, 2011 at 11:00 pm
So, Marcus, have you left money anywhere yet? If so, did you lurk to see it picked up or did you just drop it and leave?
Janet recently posted..Blogs and the Farmer’s Market by Janet Callaway | The Natural Networker
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 15th, 2011 at 7:48 am
Janet aloha. Indeed I have and just written a post about my “invisible giving” experiences Janet.
http://www.marcus-baker.com/network-marketing-internet-business/invisible-giving-experiences/
~Marcus
In a world that often says “what’s in it for me?!” This is a very refreshing outlook. The world will definitely be a better place if there was more unconditional love going around.
2 suggestions for online invisible giving-asking friends to follow someone’s blog or tweets who has very few followers. Or suggesting to someone to mentor someone else who seems to be having difficulty in their online business. This way they don’t know you were the initiator and suddenly they have double the amount of followers or a mentor who shows up just at the right time.
Judy recently posted..WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get)
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 3:54 am
Hi Judy,
Welcome and thank you for adding these two wonderful suggestions.
I have to admit that when I tried to find some online invisible giving ideas I drew a total blank, Maybe it had something to do with being 2am!
I am so pleased you added these and I think they are just awesome!
In my follow up post I’ll be listing all the ideas that are left here and I look forward to including yours Judy.
~Marcus
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What a great idea. Anonymous giving. It’s often said “It’s better to give than to receive”, however, quite frequently we expect something in return.
I think I’ll try this out today by going to my favorite Starbucks, giving them some extra $ and telling them to choose someone to buy a coffee for (their choice) after I’m gone.
I’m going to think about how to be an anonymous giver online. Any ideas?
John Robberson recently posted..Article Marketing – How to Use Article Marketing After Google’s Panda Farmer
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Hi Marcus,
That’s a really good challenge and I tell you where I get a daily dose of it. My 2-year old twin nieces always teach me how to love unconditionally. There are days where you have played with them all day and when you leave they don’t acknowledge you LOL.
Coming back to your point, I give to a charity and honestly, we don’t expect anything in return at all. And that’s why, when we get a letter from the child we sponsor, it’s a really nice surprise.
I will look for ways to be an invisible giver this week and let’s see what comes up.
Thanks for this challenge!
Diana Simon recently posted..My Blogging Community Features Melanie Kissell
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 9:38 am
Hi Diana,
I love your example Diana. It’s amazing what we can learn from children. Their egos have not developed to a point where they even think about engaging in ego games.
Giving in any way is worthwhile Diana. It’s always our intention that matters most.
I look forward to hearing about any invisible giving you attract your way.
~Marcus
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Marcus,
Great idea. You can even just send someone who looks like they need it, positive energy or an angel…notice that if you don’t know them or know them and don’t like them, how much internal resistance to this you may get. It’s really an exercise for you as well as the other person, no matter what kind of giving you do.
Julie | A Clear Sign recently posted..What If Calvin and Hobbes Were In Your Soul Group?
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 9:32 am
Hi Julie,
Welcome and thank you for your lovely comment.
I love the idea of sending positive energy and blessings to others. Today I was standing in line at the post office. A few people I saw looked so miserable so I decided to practice sending love to them. Some stayed locked but I literally saw two people start to look more at ease. One even smiled at me.
I agree that it is also an exercise for us. When resistance to giving comes up that is our opportunity to grow.
~Marcus
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Hi Marcus,
All keen points here.
I enjoy the idea of giving with no strings attached. Sometimes my ego resists this idea, and I am invariably punished when I look for a 1 for 1 type deal.
Everything is a 1 for 1 deal, for we are all connected. No kind act goes unrewarded because the Silent Guide watches all. The Universe is in all.
The key is to fall so much in love with giving freely, you forget about receiving. You just love giving, and giving and giving, and receiving takes care of itself, quite naturally.
Thanks for sharing your creative giving ideas Marcus.
RB
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 9:26 am
Hi Ryan,
Yeah the ego is continually in “What’s in it for me” mode. When we practice being more conscious then we can start to transcend this more.
I love your line about “falling in love with giving”. Yes absolutely. When one experiences the joy of giving then receiving no longer features which is why I love giving anonymously as the level of joy I experience is unparalleled.
Thanks for adding to the conversation Ryan.
~Marcus
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I’m in. Of course, while I regularly and frequently give anonymously, I don’t know if I can really be an “invisible giver.” No matter how hard I try, when I give it is ALWAYS returned many times over and I am always blessed even more than those to whom I have given.
And I love it. I think we all need to practice more invisible giving. I love to share my blessings and I believe I have an obligation to share my gifts to make the world a better place.
Marie recently posted..Cool CD Giveaway–Nashville Tribute Band
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 9:20 am
Hi Marie,
Welcome and thank you for your uplifting comment.
Great to have you say YES here!
I agree with you about how blessings come tumbling in when we give.
In my experience whenever I feel I am not getting something then it is a clear indication that I am not giving that very thing. I purposely give that as much as I can of course no longer even notice that I’m not getting it.
Our purpose in life is to find ways of being of service to others and giving anonymously is a great way to practice this.
~Marcus
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I absolutely adore this article! I’ve heard it said that expectations are premeditated resentments and this thought helps me let go of some of my expectations.
That said, I admit I have felt hurt from time to time when I do something for someone and they don’t acknowledge my efforts. This is just human nature, and I strive to accept this behavior and let go of the impact of this behavior as much as I can. I wrote a blog entry about this and wanting to change and practicing acceptance instead. (Here if you’re interested: http://www.liveandlovework.com/2011/07/26/how-to-change-through-acceptance/)
I have also read the advice to do someone a kindness and not be found out. This is difficult for me, not because I want credit or reciprocation, but because I do want something. I absolutely love the reaction on people’s faces when something nice is done for them, and I like to be around to see it.
You have certainly given me something to think about today, and maybe something to do.
Chrysta Bairre recently posted..Get Gratitude: 3 Simple Steps for Living
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 10:27 pm
Hi Chrysta,
Love your honesty expressed here!
We are all human and so wanting a trade of some kind, even if only to see a response on someone’s face when we have done something for them is very natural. There really is nothing wrong with this. It’s all about our motive is it not?
I have to admit that sometimes when I give invisibly, even though I remain invisible, I do hang around to see who has manifests the ‘gift’ and how it impacts on them. At other times I just walk away. There is a definite difference in how these both feel though.
Great to have you join in the discussion Chrysta and thank you for the post reference, I’ll definitely be reading that.
Namaste Marcus
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Chrysta Bairre Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 10:35 pm
I was giving the idea of invisible giving more thought today and I had a simple and easy way to give (somewhat) invisibly: to re-tweet another blogger’s article without a mention. Unless they are following me, they wouldn’t know I re-tweeted them. I like this idea because it is so simple.
Chrysta Bairre recently posted..Get Gratitude: 3 Simple Steps for Living
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 10:45 pm
Love it! Most times the simple things are best because they are easy to do. I guess they are just as easy not to do too though. If we set the intention to make them a practice however they soon become part of the journey. Appreciate you coming back here to add this Chrysta.
Marcus Baker recently posted..Are you up for the Invisible Giver Challenge?
Hi Marcus,
Oh what a wonderful idea! I love to be an invisible giver
You are right, it’s not easy to be invisible, especially online. I often syndicate a total strangers blog post across the social bookmarking sites. Especially if it’s someone who still has a high Alexa ranking.
My husband is really good at this invisible giver thing. He often cuts neighbors’ yards when they are out of town. As a matter of fact, in one instant one of the neighbors he cut the yard for thanked his next door neighbor for doing it and he took the credit without correcting the mistake
I’ll definitely put my “thinking cap” on and think about what I can come up with being a “invisible giver” this week.
Thanks for the idea!
Ilka
Ilka Flood recently posted..Are You Still Acting Like a Secret Agent in Your Network Marketing Business?
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Hi Ilka,
Yeah I also love syndicating people’s posts across the spectrum of bookmarking sites too. I usually choose people who are still learning the ropes and who need a little more assistance.
It sounds like your husband does a great job. What a pity I’m not your next door neighbor.
I look forward to hearing about your invisible giving experiences Ilka.
~Marcus
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Well even I’ve been guilty of eventually expecting something in return Marcus. Shame on me.
It’s like what you said about commenting on other people’s blogs. I have done that and continued to do it even when the owner didn’t respond to my comment or either did but never visited my place. I was just under the impression that they just didn’t care anything about me, not that I was really expecting them to always reciprocate. At least one lousy visit would have been nice. So guess that was my ego talking after all so shame on me.
But for the most part I give a lot without expecting anything in return. I’m always helping people with whatever problem they are having at the moment and I do get a lot of emails asking for assistance. I’m more than happy to help and I have no agenda at all. It just makes me happy that I’ve been able to help them learn at least a little something.
Besides giving to charities though, I haven’t ever put money in a meter or paid for someone’s coffee. Not a coffee drinker so that wouldn’t even cross my mind to be honest with you. I have helped my neighbors just because so I know I’m a good person in that respect.
You did make me realize that I still am a work in progress because obviously without me realizing it on the conscious level, I still eventually expect something from some people on that subconscious level. I’m going to have to do something about that starting today.
As always, another really great post Marcus. Thanks for sharing this and making me wake up to reality!!! Darn it! lol…
Adrienne recently posted..Do You Make These Mistakes In Facebook?
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 10:12 pm
Hi Adrienne,
We all do expect in return Adrienne so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Our egos are strong and scrupulous are they not? We just don’t want this to predominate I guess as then we miss out on that which is so very rewarding.
I have no doubt that you spend a lot of your time being a cheerful giver Adrienne. It’s difficult, no impossible to be successful in this industry unless you are.
I have been an invisible giver for a long time but it is like anything something we have to make a practice of or else before you know it you’re not doing it anymore.
In my experience giving anonymously or invisibly is an incredibly empowering practice. I always love helping people but the joy that I feel from being invisible is unparalleled and because it feels so good I do it more and more. I just love feeling good really…
We are all works in progress Adrienne and I guess we always will be. As long as we are getting better and better every day that’s really what counts.
You are perfect as you are dear Adrienne but I do look forward to hearing about your own invisible giving experiences.
~Marcus
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This is a concept that I have been doing for years – even as a kid. I was raised ina family where I have heard the phrase ‘thank you’ about 5 times from my father for anything that I had done. So when he actually said this phrase – it usually left me speechless – literally. So I guess I was just used to doing things for everyone without expecting a simple thanks from anyone; it was normal for me. But I have never once read a post about it – cool!
Doing things without receiving recognition – just because. I usually don’t hand out money; but rather small things or acts that would make people happy when they have discovered them. No trace left behind
Maybe too many of us have been trained to think this way – think that we must receive a thank you for everything that we do. I can’t, however, say that I am perfect. Yeah – it feels good when we are praised for something that we do. And I think we all want that feeling. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t. But I think we should all avoid making it our motive.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Hi Brock,
You raise many excellent points. Of course we all like to be noticed and receive recognition because we are human and that is part of who we are but as you say when we only give to receive then we are missing out on the real joy that comes from being an unconditional giver.
Appreciate your comment Brock.
~Marcus
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I think something peaceful takes place whenever I try to become an indivisible giver. It makes me feel good to give without expecting but most of the time its returned. As always Marcus, this is another great post and I’m already feeling richer reflecting on my past deeds and how I can still be an indivisible giver.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 9:56 pm
Hey Darin,
When we are invisible it means we can just connect with the joy of giving for giving sake and there is no better feeling. We make a mistake in thinking that we give to receive. That will happen but the real reason we give is to feel the joy of doing do.
I’m pleased you enjoyed the post Darin and thank you for leaving a comment.
~Marcus
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Marcus this is a great topic. I had to laugh at getting upset when leaving comments on other blogs and they don’t reciprocate. It bothered me too.
The funny thing was they did eventually come to my blog and leave a comment.
What invisible thing that I do online is re-tweet, like, +1, like the Fan Page and so on to blogs that I frequent.
One thing I learned through spirituality is that we don’t get to determine how we receive. It comes from whomever, in whatever form that it does. I am fine with that.
I donate a lot to The Salvation Army and GoodWill. Several times in the past I would put money in the pockets of clothes, and even placed some gold jewelery in there too.
I hoped that the guys that unpacked the Donations would find it.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 16th, 2011 at 3:14 am
Hi Justin,
Yeah it’s crazy what we allow ourselves to get upset over. None of it is very important although the ego would like us to believe it is.
I like the idea of leaving money in pockets of clothes donated. That’s really cool.
~Marcus
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I have been doing that for quite a time now and it feels good. When you make giving a part of you, it just goes automatically in your system and it’s not difficult for you doing it always.
xexy30 recently posted..play angry birds
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 16th, 2011 at 3:10 am
Hi,
Great to hear that you are making this a part of your life now. You are right, the more we do it the easier it becomes.
~Marcus
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Giving is not to expect in return. Many people are counting what they have given to other people. But the true giver is giving without any return. I hope many people will realize to be a giver.
Ron recently posted..How to Reduce Man Boobs Through Daily Habit
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 16th, 2011 at 3:09 am
Hi Ron,
Welcome and thanks for the comment.
It is a fact that we have to give without expectation in order to receive. The shift is subtle but the difference in outcomes massive.
~Marcus
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The law of attraction is really something else. But when you understand and live it…there are no limits. The universe is LOVE and it is also ABUNDANCE.
Now if there are things emotionally in my way…I make a committed choice to get rid of it. It no longer serves me in this journey, which opens me up even more without a struggle. The understanding is very clear…that I am giving without expecting and all my needs will always be taken care of. Thank you for this wonderful inspiring article!
kKenya recently posted..Are You IN the Oven or on TOP of the Stove
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 16th, 2011 at 3:07 am
HI kKenya,
Welcome and thanks for leaving such a great comment.
It sounds as if you understand well that the journey to success is as an emotional journey rather than action one. Awesome,
When we know how to focus energy as a creator in the truest sense of the word then we are able to make anything happen.
~Marcus
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Giving more and more can make you a free man.Great human being and great professional
Smith recently posted..Steam showers | steam saunas | steam cabins | steam shower
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 16th, 2011 at 3:39 am
Hi Smith,
I couldn’t have said this any better than you just did.
Thank you.
~Marcus
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Great post Marcus…! Nice to connect with another Online Networker.. Went through your blog and I should say there’s some really good content here… Wish you all success and let’s stay connected! – Sidz
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 12th, 2011 at 3:59 am
Hi Siddarth,
Welcome and thanks for leaving a comment.
Thanks too for the great feedback and look forward to connecting some more with you.
~Marcus
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I’ve always enjoyed invisible giving, but I don’t do it often enough… I think it’s important to acknowledge that it’s a very selfish act though! For me, it’s about the best I can feel! If it didn’t feel good, we wouldn’t do it.
One of the hardest things to do for me is to accept things that others give to me… my immediate reaction is to try and give straight back, but that’s really not a good idea at all!
It’s a great balance – you have to be good at giving, and mindful and respectful enough to be good at receiving!
Dan recently posted..The Drama Triangle and What It Means to Confidence
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 17th, 2011 at 7:21 am
Hi Dan,
Welcome and thanks for leaving a comment.
Great point about being able to balance giving and receiving. Everything is about circulation.
~Marcus
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Nice post Marcus. It is very important to actually give FIRST before the people can give you something.
Ego is a very bad thing.. It can slow down our learning curve and it can affect us in our business. My advice is keep on learning and don`t let your ego stop you. Lets admit our mistakes so we can grow.
Have a great day Marcus and God bless you my friend.
- Ian Valeza
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This is an interesting post and I agree that she should do some sort of unconditional giving sometimes. This can solve some small problems of people and even we will feel good about ourselves.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 29th, 2011 at 9:02 am
Hi Andy,
Welcome and thanks for leaving a comment.
We can definitely play a role on helping people and as you say it helps us to feel great too.
~Marcus
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To get an expert in all the devices you have to face the invisible challenges to become more expert and then get the dreams.
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