Who’s That in Your Driver’s Seat?

Hi Marcus,

Splendid, luving these tips.

The post is timely, for sure. Thanks Universe

I noted a few indecisive tendencies today. My laptop was running super slowly and I began to feel anxious, annoyed, a bunch of negative emotions.

“Should I take today off? No, I just took yesterday off. No can do. But what if the web doesn’t come back up. I can’t wait for 7 minutes for a page to load, like now. I don’t know what to do?”

That was my inner dialog. Then I stepped away from the computer (after making a decision to release), sat for 30 minutes, and came back to laptop. I *decided* to work slowly, deliberately, and calmly, realizing I attract my experiences. I am a magnet. What I want, comes to me. All I do is set the intent and get out of the way. So I can work slowly and calmly, without any worry. After the decision I felt calm.

So I proceeded slowly and calmly, and eventually attracted a few ideas which had my laptop running quickly in no time. I continued honoring the longer hourly breaks today, to help me with my decision making ability, and will continue to do so.

Thanks for sharing your keen insight into decision making Marcus.

RB
Ryan Biddulph recently posted..How Much Can I Make with Your Online Business?

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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 25th, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Hi Ryan,

Loved how you related this topic to your actual experience Ryan. Well done for taking control as you did too.

As you say we always attract exactly what we need at any time but we have to be aware enough to learn what we must in the moment.

I always feel so exhilarated by how amazingly we are cared for by the Universe.

~Marcus

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Really great post Marcus and a topic I never get tired of hearing.

I’ve been a work in progress for awhile now but I must admit that for some reason, everything finally started falling into place more for me this year. I’m very conscious of what I say, how I say it and what I think. Because I have finally gotten a better hold on this, more things are showing up in my life this year. It’s amazing what will happen when you learn to be in control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions.

Thanks for sharing this and again, I never get tired of hearing about this. Why? Because it’s always a constant reminder of where I am now versus where I use to be.

Have a fabulous day my friend.

Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted..Discover The REAL Adrienne Smith – #NicheAmnesty

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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 25th, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Hi Adrienne,

Awesome that you can observe the difference Adrienne. That is such an empowering experience when it happens not so?

Sometimes one becomes aware of this in the middle of being in control and at other times one realizes after the event but it is always such an “Aha” moment for me.

Thanks for adding your personal experience to this discussion Adrienne.

~Marcus

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Hi Marcus, thanks for sharing this.
For me, it’s me myself who are in my driver’s seat. I control my own feeling and decision, as long as I can of course.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 9:58 am

Hi Andrew,

That’s the right mindset to have my friend. Well done.

~Marcus

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Hi Marcus,

great advice here – thank you for sharing. Making that shift to “decide” rather than feel like a victim of your circumstances is so important, as is asking why you’re doing anything.

A couple of things I emphasize are: getting clear about your overall intended outcome and keeping it in mind whenever you’re making a decision, and writing a list of your 6 most important things to do each day. Goal-setting and prioritizing: simple, but sooooo effective.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 9:51 am

Hi Natalie,

Welcome and thank you for adding value to this discussion.

Keeping a simple list of what you want to achieve daily is excellent advice. I keep mine in view all the time so that I am constantly reminded about what i am doing.

~Marcus

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Hi Marcus, really, really nice post! Sometimes, unaware, I do those “taking control” things. But sometimes, unaware also, I tend to become under control of someone else. When answering emails or IMs, I am thinking about answering in the right way thinking about my interest and the interest of the person I’m talking to. And I think, putting back yourself on the driver’s seat is one thing that should always be remembered.

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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 9:41 am

Hi Grace,

When we give away our control to others we definitely create unnecessary suffering for ourselves. If we want things to be different we can often do something to change things for ourselves, we just have to be aware that we can.

Thank you for adding your thoughts here Grace.

~Marcus

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Hi Marcus;
It was a great and eye opening post for me. I have a tendency of making excuses. The two points you mentioned are well taken.

I can remember thinking or saying the exact phrases – “it’s too expensive” and “I don’t mind” – more times than I am comfortable with.
Ankesh Kothari recently posted..Google Research Results: Why adding a feature users demanded decreased their traffic

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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 9:28 am

Hi Ankesh,

My friend we have all done so and it’s so easy to fall into the habit without realizing. I appreciate your honesty here.

When we truly make a stand for being in control and not allowing anything to take away our power then we do make things happen in our lives.

Have an empowered day Ankesh!

~Marcus

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Hi Marcus,

I only had one business where I was so busy I had to turn people away. It comes to me that one of the biggest reasons for small businesses to fail is to grow too quickly, thereby becoming unable to provide good service. The word gets around and the business soon fails.

If you want some great training for making decisions, try doing what I do in my “day job” I drive a school bus with many demanding kids of all ages and types at my back. If you don’t learn to focus and control, you find yourself in a ditch in a hurry. I can see that the same lack of control would happen in a business where you were overwhelmed by people demanding immediate attention.

Lou
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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 8:43 am

Hi Lou,

I absolutely relate to your bus driving role Lou. I was a school teacher for many years and kids being kids were constantly making demands on me en masse. One soon learns how to focus and take control because if you didn’t disaster would certainly follow.

Thanks for adding to the conversation Lou.

~Marcus

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Hi Marcus,

Thanks for speaking directly to me once again! I have become so overwhelmed lately and I know it’s mostly my own doing. I have to “unclutter” my life/business again. I have already started but still have some ways to go.

Thanks for the reminder of “who’s in charge” here!

Cheers,

Ilka
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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Hi Ilka,

Awesome Ilka. We all need reminding because it’s so easy to just take on more and more and then suddenly we are just too busy to be present in the moment so we can’t really be in control.

I am always de-cluttering!

Take care.

Marcus

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Marcus, aloha. YES, I regard myself as decisive.

Working from home for as many years as I have, I long ago learned to ignore the phone. For years I have been telling people that just because the phone rings, you do not have to answer it.

One of the challenges, Marcus, with answering the phone whenever it rings–aside from the fact that it interrupts whatever you are doing–is the fact that you are not usually “present” when answering that call because your mind is still on the task at hand. Thus, the initial part of the call is “lost” and not given the importance that it should have.

A habit that I have that makes a difference is that before I pick up the phone, be it to answer a call or to make one, I segment intend what I want to happen. If I am talking with someone, I always want the communication to be clear and well received. That is a minimum of what I say to myself. If you do that before answering, it creates the needed break your task and the call.

Marcus, I agree with you 100% on the “I’ve decided” laguage. It makes such a huge, huge difference.

The reason I know I am decisive is because I decide to do something and do it. I do not spend time second guessing myself and waiting until I know every last detail.

Marcus, if people know their Core Values or their Why it is ever-so-much easier to be decisive because they know what they want long term. Their decisions become more reflexive. The more decisions a person makes, the better they becoming at making them and letting go of ones that were not so good.

By the way, Marcus, loved what you mentor told you that you included in your reply to Oliver.

Best wishes to you, my friend, for a terrific day. Aloha. Janet
Janet recently posted..Let Go to Have by Janet Callaway | The Natural Networker

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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 8:38 am

Janet aloha. Now I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that you are decisive and that is because I know that you are in alignment with your core values Janet so how could you not be decisive.

Yes isn’t segment intending just the most powerful mindfulness technique to observe Janet. I use it all the time. When we do then we take control of deliberately creating each moment by moment.

I laughed when I read about how you have been telling people for years that just because the phone rings does not mean you have to answer it Janet. So true.

Just today I was coaching someone who was complaining about all the interruptions that come his way.

Similarly to you Janet I told him that interruptions are only given the power to interrupt us when we enter into an agreement for that to take place. It was as if I had turned the lights on for him as he suddenly realized how he had been creating his own problems. Love those moments when people just feel the relief and space that is the truth.

Janet the mentor I mentioned in my comment to Oliver made such an impact on me as a young man with her ‘cut through the crap’ questions. I have never forgotten them. To this day if ever I feel I am being too attached to something for two long I go back to those questions and immediately I free myself.

Thank you for adding value to the discussion as usual Janet. I always appreciate having you visit here.

~Marcus

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Hi Marcus,
Putting yourself in the driver’s seat. What an excellent message.
In this day and age when social media is at our fingertips, and like you pointed out, emails are coming in like a flood, this message is of paramount importance.

I just took a two day trip to Bangkok, and decided not to access my email the whole trip. When I got back 48 hours later, my business gmail box had around 80 messages in there. Most of it was fluff, and simply needed to be deleted. However, the point is that on a normal day, those emails would have been coming in, and distracting me.

Let alone all the facebook status updates…and everything else.

So, I agree with you, and I think this message is very relevant!

Take care,
Martin
Martin Dale recently posted..Online Marketing Expert Tips- Content Is Still King

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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 29th, 2011 at 10:16 am

Hi Martin,

I appreciate your response here.

What’s important to remember is that we always have a choice as to whether we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed or whether we decide not to let it happen. Sometimes we just get so caught up we forget.

~Marcus

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Hi Marcus,
I love this article! Don’t we just love it when we find a post with great value and we get all excited inside and find ourselves nodding our heads in agreement. I know I do.
When I was younger and unsure of myself, I used to get angry with myself for being easily persuaded by salespersons to buy their products even if I didn’t want or like those products. I’ve learned my lesson over the years and nowadays I just say my magic word “Pass”. Now, I’m going to reinforce that by consciously using your magic word “Decide”.
Fantastic article, thanks for sharing and have a nice day!
Theresa Torres recently posted..Your Personal Debt Ceiling: How to Avoid and Overcome Your Own Financial Crisis

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Marcus Baker Reply:
July 29th, 2011 at 9:57 am

Hi Theresa,

Welcome and thank you for leaving such an awesome comment.

I too used to often buy things I didn’t want or even do things I didn’t want to do. What madness. We don’t have to at all. Pleased this post resonated with you Theresa.

~Marcus

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Yes, I agree. We should always be in control of every situation that we face each day. But I also want to share another helper. Have you heard about the adaptive unconscious? It’s the part of our brain that reaches conclusions without immediately telling us it’s reaching conclusions. Some people may call it our intuition. Most of the time, it helps us to take control of every circumstance that we are in.

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Marcus Baker Reply:
August 1st, 2011 at 3:15 am

Hi Suzan,

Welcome and thank you for adding more value here.

I have heard of the adaptive unconscious or intuition and it certainly does help us to better manage our circumstances.

I guess the success of using this is dependent on whether we allow ourselves to into this”knowing” and whether we follow its advice.

~Marcus

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Hey Marcus,

This is exactly why I love learning from you – you give so much clarity, and you always have the right message that will rouse people to take action.

I am not sure if you also participated in last week’s “Everything is Energy Summit”. I loved it so much that it caused me this overwhelming feeling , questioning myself “why am I doing what I’m doing?” ..then it suddenly hit me that “Even though , I am anxious about which path to take right now, I deeply and completely accept myself and my energy.” This is actually a line from the EFT technique, and related to what you posted here, we can take control of our emotions, events and any symptom instantly by merely deciding that we will ‘clear’ these emotions that are bothering us. It is utterly powerful, Marcus.

I am still learning, but I so appreciate that this post beautifully complements what I learned from the summit. Thank you

- Rowena
Rowena Bolo recently posted..The Law of Attraction and Relationship Marketing

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It’s easy to let things take control of your life, because people tend to always pick the easy way out, and making decisions is not that way. But it’s important to wake up from this and take control, it’s a tough world and we’re wasting our lives if we don’t do this.
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Very well said about decision making Marcus, many people use to decide subconsciously and quickly without realizing it over and over again, it leads to regrets. You know what Marcus, this is exactly what I want to learn especially about decisions.
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Marcus Baker Reply:
November 2nd, 2011 at 5:37 am

Hi Elizabeth,

Welcome and thank you for adding to the discussion here. When we take our time and listen to our inner voice then we are far more likely to make better decisions.

~Marcus

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