If you died would your Facebook friends show up to your funeral? Maybe you’re not that bothered? ….. but you should be.
I’m going to tell you why and how you can easily improve your chances of them coming.
A few months ago I was very ill. The doctors had no idea what was wrong with me but since over 30 people had died the week before from a European winter flu virus, death seemed to be far more of a reality than I would have liked.
One night I woke up in a cold sweat, the only thing on my mind being whether my Facebook friends would come to my funeral.
Yes…. bizarre indeed and a reduction in my medication seemed in order please…
Nonetheless I realized that far more wouldn’t come than would. Horrors!
How sad…. but why?
Simple. Most of my Facebook friends didn’t really know me so they couldn’t like me which meant they didn’t care about me so consequently to them, my funeral would be a non event.
Have you estimated how many of yours would care? Not as many as you would like?
Why does it matter?
To be honest it’s not because you want them at your funeral. I mean you’ll have croaked anyway so why would you care?
However if your Facebook friends don’t know, like and care about you, there is also little chance that they will ever do business with you and that should be a big deal!
Not much point in having all those thousands of so called friends then is it?
Ever since that night I’ve been working through my current friends list, sorting and getting to know those who qualify for my time. Here’s how I’m doing it.
How to Ensure Your Facebook Friends Know who you are…
- Decide to take responsibility for making the first move.
- Work systematically through your current list.
- Study their profiles and find a common point of interest.
- Send them a personal message explaining that you’re on a mission to get to know your friends better.
- If there is a common point of interest, use this as topic for discussion. Ask questions. Lots of them.
- If their profile reveals little, ask them questions about where they live and what they do.
- Make them feel special. Pay them compliments when appropriate.
- Now you’re being a network marketer. This is what it’s all about.
- DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT…. pitch them on your opportunity or your life saving Internet marketing system.
- Simply get to know them and then decide whether you want to network further with them or whether you can take them off your list. No point in having friends that aren’t, not so?
Yes it’s time consuming…. welcome to real network marketing!
Whether any more will come to your funeral remains to be seen but if my experience is anything to go on, you sure will stand a better chance of doing business with those Facebook friends who know who you are because you’ve made the effort to be personable.
Be Happy!
Post Image: Mike Gieson
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Not sure where you were going with that heading Marcus!
Really great post and hopefully you are well onto recovery I know only to well about those darn viruses!
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 23rd, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Hi Ian…
Yes have to say I love it when I come up with a headline that is odd but leads to curiosity. LOL
Thanks for the good wishes too. It has been a slower recovery than I first thought but all headed in the right direction.
Appreciate your comment. Thanks.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
The title is so much interesting that everyone ill surely read your post when they will look only at your post title.
I have only those people in my Facebook Friends whom I know well.
nazimwarriach recently posted..epc Belfast
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 23rd, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Hi Nazim,
Thank you and well done on controlling your Facebook account right from the start. I didn’t but I am working through that now.
I guess I should have remembered what my mother taught me as a child and that was you can only have so many friends because you only have so much time to give to each of them. LOL
~Marcus
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LOL Marcus. When under severe stress, thinking if we’re going to make it or not, it’s funny some of the things that pop up.
A few months back I’d have said few FB friends would show up. Now it’s a little different story. I’ve made it a habit to connect with each new person I add or request, with a nice little personal message, a Like, a comment. The little connects build trust, and this trust can build a friendship.
Thanks for sharing the entertaining and informative read!
RB
Ryan Biddulph recently posted..Grab It While It’s Hot Over 300 of My Inspirational Quotes Just 1 Click Away
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Hey Ryan…
It was most amusing when that thought popped up and as I said in the post, it wouldn’t really matter at all…. but my ego thought it would cash in on the situation no doubt.
Great to read about how you are approaching Facebook too.
~Marcus
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Oh man my comment got deleted by me! Anyhoo great point!! I think it’s odd when new ppl add me on FB and yet never say one word to me. I fig they’re afriad of me or just want to inflate their friend list. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have lots of new FB friends but sheesh… why waste time adding if you’re not going to ever connect?! This post gets me thinking a lot about Twitter too… Hrmmmm!
~Lis
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Hi Lis,
Don’t you hate it when you delete your own comments? Happens to me too and I always feel so silly. LOL I appreciate you taking the time to leave another.
I guess it depends on how one wants to focus on using Facebook. For me, since it’s a social media site, it makes sense to be as personally sociable as I can be.
But then how many friends can I handle on that basis at a time??
Actually Facebook’s 5000 limit now seems to be more than generous than I first thought.
Fan pages? …. well that’s another story!
Twitter…. ah yeah.. how do I get to know the 13000 I seem to have already befriended? Impossible it seems.
~Marcus
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Marcus, I loved the way you tied that in to our profession. But… yes I have wondered the same think about my business-related friends and friends in my daily life.
I think it all comes to making a difference and getting out there to build meaningful relationships.
we are very lucky we get to do this in our business. It really counts though doesn’t it?
As much as I want to hang out until I am 98+… I made the decision to be a valuable asset to the best of my ability based on the things you have said.
And… btw… I am glad you are back in full form. I would have been there… and I am so thankful for you. I hope we won’t have to think about this for at lease another half century or better.
I had a friend to was not in our business who touched the lives of so many just by taking the time to get to know them. I/we lost him in January and I suppose that is what made me take a hard close look. I will see if I can select the link for the post I wrote about him lower down…(for if you get time later on)
Thanks for the post Marcus. I like being reminded.
Just came back up the the comment box… I can’t select the post but chose to show one that contains a link and is along the same lines.
Jayne Kopp recently posted..How Will You be Remembered for Your Time on Earth
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 6:59 pm
I always love reading your comments Jayne because you always include useful personal insights.
You are spot on with saying we are here to make a difference and it starts with being the person we must, to be remembered as we desire.
Yes this business positions us perfectly to make a difference to others and it’s what attracted me to network marketing right from the start.
Thanks for saying you would have been there. I am sure you would have if you could have….
BUT I don’t have any plans to croak just yet. Ha ha
Yes let’s live and celebrate our lives together. By the time it does happen we will have been friends for a long long time.
I am heading over to read your post now Jayne. Thanks fro sharing this too.
I appreciate you and your friendship.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hey Marcus!
Well I’m really glad to hear that you have recovered. Your story rings a bell with me as I once had a near death experience after breaking my neck in a car crash.
I laughed at first when the doc told me I should be dead, but when the drugs wore off, it hit me straight between the eyes.
I recall that day is a defining moment in my life on how short life can be.
I’m sure you’ve received some inspiration from this experience, if so, please share!
As for FB friends, ha, well, I think we all started on the clicking frenzy, adding people without really connecting with them.
I recently attended a webinar where friend segmenting was the topic.
Basically segmenting your friends into (e.g.)
- network marketers in general
- family
- new friends for 2 weeks (to choose where they going to go)
- prospects
- etc
As one should do with your email list, it makes sense to do it with FB.
That way you can customize your status updates for certain groups and get positioned at the top of their newsfeed for being relevant.
Great post Marcus!
George Fourie recently posted..Top Five Communites for MLM Moms
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Hey George,
I can relate to your story about realizing how fragile life is and why we MUST live in the moment.
It is so easy to take life far too seriously and as business people we often become too attached to making money rather than just being happy. Then the rest just follows then… amazing really.
I was interested to read about friend segmenting. That is exactly what I have started to do and the re-organization is working wonders.
Great to see you here George and a good reminder that I need to get back to thatMLMBeat and do what I need to do to catch up. It’s been a while.
I appreciate your input here George and here’s to life!
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
First, I’m sure glad you are feeling better. I know all to well how it feels when doctors don’t know what’s wrong with you. That’s a scary feeling! And in your case even worse after they did figure out it was that flu virus.
This is a great list, by the way, which I will start implementing to get to know my FB friends better. I don’t plan on dying any time soon, but if they can’t come to my funeral I would like for them to at least shed a tear or two.
Here’s to a long and healthy life for the both of us!
Ilka
Ilka Flood recently posted..Would You Rather Earn Residual or Linear Income
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 6:39 pm
Hi Ilka,
Pleased to hear that you don’t have any pending death wishes… ha ha… but the theme gets the point across effectively I thought.
Indeed Ilka… here’s to our continued healthy, prosperous and blessed lives.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hey Marcus,
Gotta give it to you, that headline forced me to come all the way from Ilka’s blog.
Nice one.
I’m beginning to see the point of having a relationship with people on my list too. No use having thousands of friends when you only KNOW less than 10%.
Will my facebook friends come to my funeral? With the direction I’m going, I wont be surprised if a sizeable number of them fly over to Nigeria.lol
Great tips, Marc!
Tosin
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Hi Tosin,
Just shows the power of headlines eh?? Wouldn’t it be good if they could all be like that?
Well it seems as if you may have quite an event happening in Nigeria then Tosin. LOL
~Marcus
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Marcus, aloha. What a terrific post on such a very important topic. You are so right that far too often we become “friends” and then that’s the last of it.
As you know, some people are active commenters/posters while others are not. If people join the party, whether we asked them to join or they asked if they could join, we definitely need to get to know them. Why else have them at the party?
Ironically, I have just started a fb list for the first 2 weeks someone is a new friend. I want to make sure I pay special attention to them, take note of what they do and get to know them.
Thx for such a clear and compelling message. Aloha. Janet
Janet recently posted..It’s a Storyteller’s Business by Janet Callaway The Natural Networker
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 25th, 2011 at 5:40 am
Hi Janet,
Lovely to read your welcome and affirming comment here.
It sounds as if you already now the value of being a personable friend on Facebook. Now why is that no surprise?
~Marcus
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Hi Marcus,
That is a really good idea! I have spent some time thinking about how to connect with my facebook friends. One thing that I typically try to do is to wish them a happy birthday on their special day. I like your plan so much better!
Also, I’m glad that you are feeling better! I didn’t know that you were ill.
Take care,
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..How to Become the Most Productive You
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 25th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Hi Stacy,
Wishing them a happy birthday is definitely important and at one point I didn’t even do that very consistently. It’s all about making others feel important isn’t it?
It makes such sense but sometimes we just get caught up in our own business.
Thanks Stacy, The virus thing pretty much happened in January but the recovery has been ongoing but I am much better, thanks.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
We live in the relationship age. “Of course we may work together but let’s get to know each other first”. People will join people as there is no doubt about it. And they will when you establish trust and rapport and they see you as a vehicle to get to their destination. Great Post.
Lali
Lali Sandhu recently posted..Give Google A Candy!
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Hi Lali,
Thanks for adding to the discussion here.
The thing about relationships is that they take time and effort, two things that so many people who come to the Internet don’t want to commit to. It’s a pity because the long term benefits far outweigh a quick affiliate sale.
~Marcus
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Hi Marcus!
Very catchy title you got here! Got me quite worried at first. hahaha But it sure got me reading! The worst thing that we could probably have as a eulogy is hearing someone say this about us: “Umm, I really don’t know much about him in the first place.”
Which is why, great effort should really be made about being personable, like you said. No hidden agenda. Just a genuine desire to know someone and be known as well.
Elmar Sandyck recently posted..How To Get The Attention Of Women
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Hi Elmar,
Ha ha too right and that would no doubt be proceeded by the words, “Status Update”!
Talking about catchy titles, I’m off to read your featured post straight away.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
thanks for your a thought-provoking post. Youth is on our side definitely, but as Madonna sings:”In a blink of an eye your life could change, say hello to your life you now live in.” That includes being in the Now first and foremost, an art I am still an amateur with. Still…
Of course, our Facebook friends are part of our life and therefore also of the Now. If we don’t feel that chances are we are not in the Now and on Facebook simply to squeeze some bucks out of our friends (or save them with our internet marketing system, well said, lol)
I have never asked myself the question how many of my Facebook friends showed up on my funeral if I died, so I am unable to deliver an honest answer right now, but you definitely made me think.
Isn’t there an old saying that we should our lives so that, when we die, even the undertaker is sorry ? Could be a quote by Mark Twain.
Thanks again for sharing your insights.
Take care
Oliver
Oliver Tausend recently posted..The School System – Entrepreneurial Lessons And How To Convince A Teacher
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 28th, 2011 at 12:32 am
Hi Oliver,
I liked your “thought journey” expressed above, especially the undertaker quote.
Not sure if that was Mark Twain but sounds like the kind of thing he would have said.
I think it’s that word “friends” that gets me. It just motivates me now to make sure that those who are on my list I know a little better than just a face and name after the “thank you for your friend request message.”.
Maybe I would not feel the same way if Facebook had called them “contacts”?? LOL
Thanks for adding your thoughts here Oliver.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Great post. Right now facebook has been really good to me. I have managed to grow my email list by 80%.
It’s always goo to find a way of interacting with your fans. If not you will have a page with no engagement and no one coming back to visit.
By having lots of interaction chances are our post will get published on out fans page too giving us more visibility. I wrote a free report about this topic. “10 Ways to Grow Your Fan Base on Facebook” http://www.facebook.com/JoyceOladipoTribe
Thanks for your tips on we can make an impression with our fans.
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 28th, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Hi Joyce,
Welcome and thank you for adding more value here. I am sure many people will be heading over to look at your free report right now.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
Very Interesting post about FB Friends.
Spot on. Facebook is something on which I’m trying to be active.
Thanks for sharing this awesome tips mate.
Have a great time.
~Dev
Devesh recently posted..7 Free Ways to Drive Traffic to Your Website
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Hi Devesh,
Pleased you found the tips useful.
I have wasted a lot of time on Facebook in the past. There are a variety of ways to use Facebook depending on your requirements but I think the best is still for relationship marketing.
Appreciate the comment.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Marcus LOL. I just can’t imagine what you were thinking! This surely shows your care and wanting your friends to be so connected to you as your family.
Now the strategy *looks* daunting but I think it is rather systematic and will surely lead to success.
Thanks for the nice thought and strategy!
Cheers,
Jane.
Jane recently posted..Dramatically Increase Subscriptions Without Lifting A Finger- Literally
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Hi Jane,
Yes sometimes my own mind scares me… LOL
The strategy takes time and that’s a problem for most people who are looking to find relationship marketing success instantly without speaking to anyone.
I appreciate your comment Jane.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hey Marcus,
What a title for a post! I really like how you went about it. This is a topic that everyone needs to know about it. Especially, if they are planning to use Facebook as a marketing tool. Great Job!
Have a great day…
Josh
Josh Garcia recently posted..Selecting an Orlando Realty Company
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Ha ha yes Josh I enjoyed creating the title almost more than writing the post.
Thanks for adding your comment here.
~Marcus
[Reply]
I do wonder, will they show up (but I guess once I’m gone I will never know) hehehehe.
Seriously though, a part of building a relationship with your friends on Facebook is to take it to the next level by having a conversation with them and just getting to know them. What do they like to do, where do they like to visit, do they have a family, etc.
It’s an integral part of a relationship.
Have a great day,
Jerome Ratliff
Jerome Ratliff recently posted..Robert Allen on Prospecting With Posture
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Hi Jerome,
Like you I guess it won’t matter to me then but funny how important it was to me at that moment. LOL
What I find bizarre is that people spend so much time, effort and money generating leads when Facebook offers these to you for nothing.
Of course the secret is in knowing how to communicate with them beyond spam.
Thanks for leaving a comment Jerome.
~Marcus
[Reply]
Hi Marcus,
First of all, glad to hear that your feeling better. This is a great strategy you share here. Yes it can be time consuming to talk to all of those people, but even if you find just a few business partners or new friends, it will all be worth the time and effort.
Thanks for sharing Marcus and have a great day!
Ian Belanger recently posted..Overcoming Procrastination With A March Madness Bracket And Newton’s Law Of Motion Really
[Reply]
Marcus Baker Reply:
March 31st, 2011 at 1:55 am
Hi Ian,
I appreciate your input here. I agree with you. Focus on quality and the rest takes care of itself.
~Marcus
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its really worth the effort..it makes perfect sense marcus.
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